Im SEXY and I know it!

MOOD: Joyous

Just thought id do some selfies....yup....coz im just that cool! ;)







I call this one.....

BROODING

This one is;

Great, sexy man looking off into the distance...








Below, I really tried to encompass my more intelligent side....I call them, THE THINKER....










 
 
 

Capturing my more sexual side, I took this one....take note of my seductive stare and the playful positioning of the sheet....












Lastly, I just dressed it up a bit really....everyone knows how women go crazy with a man in a suit.... ;)













~ Zeus xx









 
 
 

Jason and Medea - uh oh spaghettios

MOOD: Feeling wise and sympathetic

OK, in this post I thought id do something a LITTLE different, today, this is going to be a bit of a self help section, so guys, better listen up! :P
Well, I just got a text from one of my homies, Jason... Man, im ALWAYS helping him out....and today's no exception... Anyway, he just got out of a pretty intense relationship to be with a new love interest! First of all, congrats Jason! You should definitely get out while the going is good and its the early bird that gets the worm.... the young pretty worm that is...
Now you may be thinking, good for you Jason, you traded the old cow in for a new one! But that's where his troubles start! So, I get this text, and it says:

"Zeus, do you hear how I am mocked,
Rejected, by this savage beast
Polluted with her children's blood?
But now, as time and strength permit,
I will lament this grievous day,
And call the gods to witness, how
She killed my sons, and now refuses
To let me touch or bury them.
Would God I had not bred them,
Or ever lived to see

Them dead, Medea their destroyer!"

Yeah, pretty poetic aye... well, story short, his psycho ex killed her own kids and wont even let him say goodbye....
Actually, that's a bit strange actually, I don't remember their love story going that way...hmm....oh well, it happens I guess....

So, Jason needs a bit of moral support, and here is what I've got for you mate:

Stick to your guns, men are much more stable than women, just you wait, soon your ex will be flinging herself into your arms begging for forgiveness....and that's when you push her out of your life completely! You've got to cut your losses, her actions are unfortunate, but we both know she was on the way out... women don't stay young forever!! Remember, you're the MAN! Your better! You are the one women need, not the other way around! Don't let that crazed Medea stand in your way any longer!

~ Zeus xx

THIS GIRL IS ON FIREEEE!!!

MOOD: ;)

Wow, Semele is smoking! She is hot-to-trot!

Just thought i'd let you all know of another one of my love interests, I know how everyone loves to hear my latest crush....or partner.... hehehehe....whichever you prefer ;)

~ Zues xx

Ganymede

MOOD: Pleased... ;)

Hey hey hey! Come take a look at my cute little man friend!!!
Hehehehehehe.... he's my new little wine pourer ;)

OMG, isn't he just like the most adorable thing ever!!

~ Zeus xx

Hungry For Something Else!

MOOD: Grrrrr! ;)

Just met the lovely Io... now SHE is something ELSE!!
She invited me back to hers later (she cant come to mine for obvious reasons: wife and the fact my place just happens to be the realm of the gods)....
Unfortunately, I think Hera is getting a bit suspicious....so I actually turned Io INTO SOMETHING ELSE....a heifer... you know, I thought id mix it up a little.... and she still has the most beautiful eyes! :)

Heheheheheeee.... so I'll cya later baby! Hera never has to know! ;)

ILY BABE!

~ Zeus xx

Lovely Leto!

MOOD: Happy!!!!

A bit of a while ago now I saw the most lovely and beautiful woman ever! I was totally in a trance, and so I said to her "Oh lovely little Leto, will you be mine!" and so I told her just how beautiful she was, to which she replied "oh no, im very plain really, it just the light...honest"

And so I sang to her, What Makes You Beautiful by my all time fav band!! Its her fav band too.... though she seemed a little surprised when I said how much I loved 1D...im not quite sure why though...

 

 

...I totally rocked the song! I did think about Im Sexy And I Know It by LMFAO, or Tonight Im Loving You by the most attractive man with the hardest name in the world to spell (so lets just spell his name enruierquay eglashicious just to make sure it is completely wrong...) ...  but I felt these songs wouldn't have had the same effect....

 

Anyway, I just found out that she's having twins!!!! Only one encounter, man am I good ;)

 

heheheheheheheeeeee

 

~ Zeus xx



I WUV MY BOLT

MOOD: Happy

 
You know, I never really did acknowledge the makers of my fabulous lightning bolt, my  
signature weapon, my eternal accessory. So after completely whipping my dad and Typhon so long ago, punishing unfaithful humans and using it to get the attention of plenty of women, I need to remind the Cyclopes how great they are for forging such a masterpiece!

It isn't often a god as awesome as I, thank others, but in this case, despite you insolence, inhumanity and general uncivilised nature, I totally love you big little guys!!
We formed and Alliance once and I've had my trusty bolt ever since, allowing me to be a total NINJA of AWESOMENESS!!!
 

So, thanks Cyclopes, for everything ;)



~ Zeus xx 

Hercules the MOVIE???

MOOD: OFFENDED

OMG, I just watched that atrocious Disney movie!! WTF!!! I do NOT LOOK LIKE THIS:

I think we all know that I REALLY look like this:

 

And Hera and I are most definitely not HAPPILY married...in fact, I think this image is a good representation of where we are at...

 

Yeah, im totally offended by this....and confused!! Where the hell did anyone get these untruths from! Urgh, if I didn't know any better, I would seriously think their reasoning was commercialism with underlying 'cotton-wool-society' values... sheesh....

~ Zeus xx

 

PROMETHEUSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MOOD: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOW DARE YOU DEFY ME AND STEAL FIRE BACK!!!!!
I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU DIDNT EVEN HAVE A CONNECTION WITH HUMANS!

*thunder booms*

...I am going to punish you all with the worst thing imaginable, I will unleash pure misery and despair onto humanity, and this abomination will be made even WOEFUL with the beautiful irony that this one punishment, will also be the most irresistible, wonderful gift, in all of creation....

My punishment, is the creation of WOMEN!!!!
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!

And for YOU, Prometheus, chained to a rock, an Eagle will eat you liver, all day, every day, for the rest of eternity! Or until you are no longer immortal....WHICHEVER LASTS LONGER!

TRICKED!!!!!

MOOD: NOT. HAPPY. JAN!

OMFG, im SOOOOOOO PO right now!! You know what, I don't even want to go into the details!!! I was tricked by Prometheus, that is all you need to know, and boy oh boy is he going to be punished! NO ONE tricks me! EVERRRRRR!! So im going to show him just how mighty I AM!!! I am going to confiscate FIRE from his precious humans!!! Hahahahaha! See how you like it Prometheus!!

~ Revengeful Zeus xx

BALL AND CHAIN AND TORMENT!!!

MOOD: Frustrated

OMG, my wife Hera is so unfair... she is really, holding me back! im a TOTAL hit with the ladies, and she's all like "blah blah blah, you know my connection with marriage...blah blah blah im your wife....grouch grouch grouch stay away from those women, or there will be dire consequences!"
Pfft, im the KING OF ALL, MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE! I Cant do whatever I like, with WHOever I like.....urgh....

Darn wench....

....although....what she doesn't know wont kill her... ;) ...righhhhhttt?? heheheheheheeee ;)

~ Zeus, now optimistically sexual ;) hehe xx

DOUBLE BIRTH!!!!!!!!

MOOD: ??

Well, im not sure how to start with this one....so I guess ill start from the beginning....lol
Ok, so, I got a new wife...
She then had a child....BY HERSELF! And because it was ALL HER, well, to put it nicely IT WAS HIDEOUS!!! So as soon as she named the disgusting thing, Hephaestus, she threw it off Olympus in her shame!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA

Then, the weirdest thing happened, my head started hurting even more, and it almost felt like there was something in there trying to escape, so, I said to Hephaestus; "You may return to Olympus if you crack open my skull to let out the source of the throbbing pain!"

And, well, it actually worked!! ahahahahaha!! the pain is GONE!! Being a natural blacksmith, he totally spilt open my head and out popped my BEAUTIFUL daughter, the goddess of wisdom and war!!

I haven't quite decided what to name her yet though, as I cant consult her mother Metis for obvious reasons (lol) but im tossing up between Athena, Athene, Tritogeneia and Atrytone....

So, at the end of the day:
Have a child without me = abomination
Have a child with me = perfection

Heheheheheheeeee, I totally gave birth out of my head!!

~ Zeus xx

NEW WIFE!!

MOOD: Content

 


Well, after my first marriage didn't go so well, I decided to look a little closer to home...actually, A LOT closer to home...

So, id like you to meet, my NEW WIFE, Hera!!!! ...who also happens to be my sister...hmmm...not to worry....
 














Don't we just look so happy together....
 
And yes, it is kinda awkward....
 
At least she's attractive!
















~ Zeus xx

First Wife Metis...Wife No More...

MOOD: unsure...

Yeahhhh...this is kinda awkward....
So, well, it turns out that my first wife, Metis, got pregnant, and well, she said that she will have a child superior to me.... so ummm....well...I sort of...
...trickedherandatehersothatshecanthavemychildbecauseimscareditwilloverthrowmelikeididtomydadandhedidtohisandnowmyheadreallyREALLYhurts...

*gasps for air*

...yeahhh.... anyone know a really good painkiller for my splitting headache??

~ Zeus xx

Typhonomachy...

MOOD: ROOOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRR

MY THUNDER WILL ROOOOOOOAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MY LIGHTNING WILL STRIKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ Zeus xx

TYPHON. IS. GOING. DOWN.

 MOOD: ANGRRRRYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

YOU KNOW ITS TIME TO DIE WHEN THE LAND, SKY AND SEA ARE ALL SEETHING UNDER THE FEROCITY OF MY WRATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!








WATCH ME FRY THIS CREEP!!!!



ROOOOOOOOOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


~ Zeus xx

New guy: lots of heads!!

MOOD: Intrigued but a little DOWN :(

O.M.G.... just saw this new guy; never seen him before in my life, like, ever... He's got this totally badass  snake-head thing going on - there are like hundreds of them - and he's got really fab legs too... I bet his legs never get tired.... yeahhh....id kill for legs that never tire....
Anyways, I saw him round Mount Olympus just yesterday, but he completely ignored me when I tried to say hi! Man, I was so upset... 
Doesn't he like me?? I mean, im approachable right? and funny....and really attractive.... why wouldn't someone want to get to know me...??
Id really like to know who this guy is, you know, so we can be friends.... I bet we'd be really close...

*sigh*
:(


~ Zeus xx

I THINK I FOUND MY SPECIAL SOMEONE!!!

MOOD: in LOVE..... <3


WOW! I'm just like.... *sigh* ....omg..... she is sooooooo perfect..... I saw her and just knew, yeah, I totally knew she was the one for me.....
Just LOOK at her...she sure is something alright....
You must be wondering, who is this fabulous creature whom has stopped my heart and set alight the most beautiful fire within my soul.....
hehehehehe......METIS.... her name is Metis, and we are to be wed immediately!
Oh how I do adore you my Metis, nothing shall ever come between us.....!!! I am completely head over heels for my fair faced and lovely haired Metis....my wise, magical Metis.... forever and always, my lovely!! xo
 
 
~ Love-Struck Zeus xx

TITANOMACHY!!!

MOOD: POWERFUL!!! and excited ;)

Ok, that took a TAD longer than expected, but thanks to everyone who pitched in, the war against the titans is OVER!! Ahahahahaaaaa
I AM VICTORIUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!! I alone, shall be the sole ruler over EVERYTHING!!!!! Take THAT Cronos!!!! :D

....unfortunately, we kinda cant kill the titans though, as yup, you guessed it, they're kinda immortal, and, they aren't all that keen on sitting idly by and watching their kids take over....I guess that one kinda slipped my mind when I was planning the whole thing...my bad.... but its ok, I solved the problem in the end!! I banished them all to TARTARUS!!! Hehehehehe, man, im like soooo totally good at all this!!! lol!

All this power is suddenly making me kinda....excited....now all I've got to do is get myself a cute lass! ;) ....if you know what I mean.... hehehehe ;)



~ Zeus xx

Overthrowing The Titans Here I Come!

MOOD: hungry....for POWER

Bumped into my dad, Cronos, the other day, you should have seen his face! HAHAHAAAA! He was all like "wtf?!! how did you get here, I swear I had gotten rid of you!"
It was the weirdest mix of anger, fear and confusion I've ever seen....
ANYWAY, it totally got me thinking, if he tried to get rid of me, why cant I just like get rid of him! It'll be easy enough, all I have to do call up ma homies! Yeah, I'm totally going to do that! Maybe we'll cancel Gossip Girl night this week...I think It's like the only time the Cyclopes, the Hundred-Handers and I are all free....damn....I love that show....



Yeahhhh....my dad really isn't the best role model...

xoxo Gossip GIRRRRRL! Hahahahaha.....such a great show!!! And that Chuck! What a total cutie!


Yep, im going to do it!! Ooooohhhh! I cant wait.... I want power sooooooo badly!!! I can see it now.... ME, sole ruler over gods and men...Master Of The Universe.... I'm actually getting chills! lol
"OH I just cant wait to be king!!" - The Lion King ALWAYS makes me cry... wish my dad was half as good as Simba's....
Oh well, his bad parenting will make it easier to overthrow him...



~ Zeus xx

This Is Soooooo Totally New

MOOD: excited

O.M.G this is my first time blogging ever! Haha! Im so very very excited to be able to finally share with the world how awesome I am....because OBVIOUSLY you all haven't realised it just yet, but you will soon :D
After all, prophecy states just how amazing im going to be! Hehehehehe watch out universe, HERE I COME!!!!

~ Zeus xx