Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Jason and Medea - uh oh spaghettios

MOOD: Feeling wise and sympathetic


OK, in this post I thought id do something a LITTLE different, today, this is going to be a bit of a self help section, so guys, better listen up! :P
Well, I just got a text from one of my homies, Jason... Man, im ALWAYS helping him out....and today's no exception... Anyway, he just got out of a pretty intense relationship to be with a new love interest! First of all, congrats Jason! You should definitely get out while the going is good and its the early bird that gets the worm.... the young pretty worm that is...
Now you may be thinking, good for you Jason, you traded the old cow in for a new one! But that's where his troubles start! So, I get this text, and it says:

"Zeus, do you hear how I am mocked,
Rejected, by this savage beast
Polluted with her children's blood?
But now, as time and strength permit,
I will lament this grievous day,
And call the gods to witness, how
She killed my sons, and now refuses
To let me touch or bury them.
Would God I had not bred them,
Or ever lived to see
Them dead, Medea their destroyer!"

Yeah, pretty poetic aye... well, story short, his psycho ex killed her own kids and wont even let him say goodbye....
Actually, that's a bit strange actually, I don't remember their love story going that way...hmm....oh well, it happens I guess....

So, Jason needs a bit of moral support, and here is what I've got for you mate:

Stick to your guns, men are much more stable than women, just you wait, soon your ex will be flinging herself into your arms begging for forgiveness....and that's when you push her out of your life completely! You've got to cut your losses, her actions are unfortunate, but we both know she was on the way out... women don't stay young forever!! Remember, you're the MAN! Your better! You are the one women need, not the other way around! Don't let that crazed Medea stand in your way any longer!

~ Zeus xx

Hercules the MOVIE???

MOOD: OFFENDED



OMG, I just watched that atrocious Disney movie!! WTF!!! I do NOT LOOK LIKE THIS:



I think we all know that I REALLY look like this:

 
And Hera and I are most definitely not HAPPILY married...in fact, I think this image is a good representation of where we are at...
 

Yeah, im totally offended by this....and confused!! Where the hell did anyone get these untruths from! Urgh, if I didn't know any better, I would seriously think their reasoning was commercialism with underlying 'cotton-wool-society' values... sheesh....

~ Zeus xx
 

BALL AND CHAIN AND TORMENT!!!

MOOD: Frustrated



OMG, my wife Hera is so unfair... she is really, holding me back! im a TOTAL hit with the ladies, and she's all like "blah blah blah, you know my connection with marriage...blah blah blah im your wife....grouch grouch grouch stay away from those women, or there will be dire consequences!"
Pfft, im the KING OF ALL, MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE! I Cant do whatever I like, with WHOever I like.....urgh....

Darn wench....

....although....what she doesn't know wont kill her... ;) ...righhhhhttt?? heheheheheheeee ;)

~ Zeus, now optimistically sexual ;) hehe xx

NEW WIFE!!


MOOD: Content



 


Well, after my first marriage didn't go so well, I decided to look a little closer to home...actually, A LOT closer to home...

So, id like you to meet, my NEW WIFE, Hera!!!! ...who also happens to be my sister...hmmm...not to worry....
 














Don't we just look so happy together....
 
And yes, it is kinda awkward....
 
At least she's attractive!
















~ Zeus xx

First Wife Metis...Wife No More...

MOOD: unsure...



Yeahhhh...this is kinda awkward....
So, well, it turns out that my first wife, Metis, got pregnant, and well, she said that she will have a child superior to me.... so ummm....well...I sort of...
...trickedherandatehersothatshecanthavemychildbecauseimscareditwilloverthrowmelikeididtomydadandhedidtohisandnowmyheadreallyREALLYhurts...

*gasps for air*

...yeahhh.... anyone know a really good painkiller for my splitting headache??





~ Zeus xx

I THINK I FOUND MY SPECIAL SOMEONE!!!

MOOD: in LOVE..... <3


WOW! I'm just like.... *sigh* ....omg..... she is sooooooo perfect..... I saw her and just knew, yeah, I totally knew she was the one for me.....
Just LOOK at her...she sure is something alright....
You must be wondering, who is this fabulous creature whom has stopped my heart and set alight the most beautiful fire within my soul.....
hehehehehe......METIS.... her name is Metis, and we are to be wed immediately!
Oh how I do adore you my Metis, nothing shall ever come between us.....!!! I am completely head over heels for my fair faced and lovely haired Metis....my wise, magical Metis.... forever and always, my lovely!! xo
 
 
~ Love-Struck Zeus xx